Singularity
by Thaumaturgy
Summary: Has anyone else noticed how shippy Singularity is? Well, I present to you, scenes pondering how one of my fav characters must have felt during a few key scenes of this lovely episode.
1. Chapter 1

**Singularity **

Summary: Has anyone else noticed how shippy _Singularity_ is? Well, I present to you, scenes pondering how one of my fav characters must have felt during a few key scenes of this lovely episode.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing at all. Zilch. Nada. Zip. I could go on, but I'm getting depressed.

* * *

**Black Holes**

"This is fun. Only 8 hours to go. Sweet."

"I still do not understand this black hole."

"Well, a black hole is this really…big…thing…well, basically it's a massive…hole…out there."

"I see"

"No, see…everything gets sucked into it. Even light. That's why we can't see it. It just gets…sucked in…"

"Thank you"

"…sure."

-Stargate SG-1, _Singularity _Jack and Teal'c

It's odd, the way he feels about her, he thinks as he tries to explain black holes to Teal'c with only the rudimentary knowledge that comes with owning a telescope. It almost reminds him of a black hole itself, weird as that seems. After all, a big hole in space that sucks all matter into it isn't what people usually use to describe falling in love…it's more common to use overdone clichés like sunsets, or waves, or two-by-fours slamming into heads…but it fits. And it really does remind him of her…not only how she's a science geek, (even though he's in love with her he still thinks it), but the way he felt—feels—so…drawn to her. Like she's the black hole, and she's sucking him in whether she wants to or not, or even knows she's doing it…but the funny thing is, he doesn't really mind. Of course, it would be a heck of a lot better if she wasn't the single most off-limits person on base, but even just being able to be near her, to listen to her speak her techno-babble, to watch her face light up when she makes a breakthrough in the lab, to just feel her presence, is a lot better than nothing.

You know, it really is uncanny how accurate the black hole analogy is, now that he thinks about it. Not only the whole sucking-him-in thing, but how he couldn't see it until it was too late, how he just woke up one morning with the unbelievable thought, _I love my 2IC._ And even though it felt at the moment like a sudden revelation, it also seemed like he'd known it for a long time, and just realized it then. There were hints, he supposes now, little clues that should have sent up red flags, like when he saw her in that dress on the Mongolian planet and suddenly found it hard to breathe, but it never really connected with him until there was nothing he could do to stop it, although he's not really sure he would have done anything if he could. But there was no chance, and he was blind until he was sucked in so deep there was no hope of getting out.

Teal'c thanks him for the explanation that was about his love life as much as about a scientific phenomena, and Jack nods a 'sure' in return, and returns to his speculation of Carter, love, and black holes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Singularity **

Summary: Has anyone else noticed how shippy _Singularity_ is? Well, I present to you, scenes pondering how one of my fav characters must have felt during a few key scenes of this lovely episode.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing at all. Zilch. Nada. Zip. I could go on, but I'm getting depressed.

* * *

**Saying Her Name**

"Jack…she's going back down."

"The hell she is…Captain Carter? Captain Carter! Sam! Do you read me?

"Captain Carter? Can you hear me?"

silence

"Sam. Can you hear me?"

-Stargate SG-1, _Singularity_ Daniel, then the rest Jack

He knows, standing here, leaning slightly against the wall for support, that he will never forget how scared he has been these past few minutes. And that in itself scares him, that nothing he has ever been through has been more terrifying than the threat of losing her, but the thought is erased in the rush of overwhelming relief. She's ok. She's not hurt, she's fine, she's alive. For a brief second, he feels the urge to give a prayer of thanks for the first time since he was 12 and his parents stopped making him go to church, but he stifles it. No need to let Teal'c and Daniel know just how scared he was any more than they have probably already gathered from the way he said her name.

He said her name. That act alone was what let him know how much it would kill him to lose her…the way that, almost despite himself, her name slipped from his lips, first when Daniel told him that she was going back down and his heart seemed to stop, then again in the agonizing seconds after when the explosion should have been, when he thought that if she didn't answer, he, Colonel Jack O'Neill, might break down. He would be willing to bet that these past two minutes have taken ten years off his life. It was the first time he said her name, too, except for when he saw her in that dress, and that was so much different than his desperate entreaties for her to say something, do something, anything, to keep herself from dying down there.

He couldn't vocalize the panic he felt when the elevator started going back down, started going the wrong way, and even though he'd never admit it, he almost wishes that she had left Cassandra down there. She couldn't, and he knows she couldn't, and he knows that if it were him he would do the same, and he knows that part of why he loves her is how she does things like that, but he also can't help but think that nothing in the world would be worth losing her for. Not the death of that girl, not the destruction of the Goa'uld, nothing. She is so much more precious to him than anything, for how brilliant she is, how strong, how true, how incredibly lovely and unique. And he felt so helpless trapped there as the seconds ticked down, with absolutely nothing he could do except wait. Wait, and look at his watch, and wish he was down there with her, or that they were both far away. He couldn't help her in the slightest down there, and he hated it. But she's fine, she's ok, and he suddenly can't help but wish that he had said her name for the first time in different circumstances…of course, he can't be sure that she even heard him…And he can't decide whether that's a good thing, or a bad.


End file.
